Lonely this Christmas
by spooksfan08
Summary: Jake and Leslie have been dancing around each other for years. Now she's got Jake worried. Can a little Christmas magic and a gentle push from Malachy and Rose lead to what both of them really want? Can Jake make her see what really matters?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer I do not own Republic of Doyle. No copyright infringement is intended nor should be inferred. **

**Fire and Ice**

**Chapter One.**

The midwinter night was lit up by stars as Jake stood in the doorway of the bar where Rose and Malachy were celebrating their anniversary. The Christmas tree partly obscured the blonde sat on the bench a few feet away but Jake knew who she was. Fuelled by a sudden urge to protect her and a wish to get away from watching Tilly and Des dance Ganam Style aswell as teaching his father to do so he walked toward her.

"You'll catch your death out here." He took his jacket off and draped it over her shoulders. Leslie turned and smiled at him. The leather jacket was heavy on her shoulders but she didn't mind. It smelled of Jake and she knew the way things were going that thought alone would keep her awake for most of the night.

"And now you will." She watched as he shrugged his shoulders.

"No, well. If I do, it doesn't matter."

"Don't say that." Leslie's eyes held his. "Don't ever say that."

"You're more important than me. I mean if I drop dead tomorrow only my family would be bothered. You are a detective. You matter." He brushed a strand of blonde hair away from her face. Leslie blushed slightly as Jake smiled.

"Don't say that." Leslie almost whispered. "Don't ever say you're not important." Jake was silent as she closed the small gap between them. He could feel her cold breath on his face as his hands found her hair pulling her towards him. Her eyes fluttered closed as his lips touched hers.

"JAKE!" The couple snapped apart as Des came lumbering towards them. "Your Dad is looking for.. oh. I. Hi Leslie."

"Hi." Leslie looked anywhere but at Jake or Des.

"Des." Jake hissed. "Get back inside. Tell him I've gone home."

"Ok." Des smiled. "But you haven't."

"But I will. In a minute." Jake glared at his friend.

"Oh and Rose and Kathleen were asking where Leslie is." Des couldn't help but smirk at the look Jake was shooting him. Leslie closed her eyes, mortified that they were the subject of yet more gossip. Des quickly got the point of Jake's pointed look and turned to go back to the party. "I'll say."

"Just tell them the truth." Leslie stated. "I wasn't feeling well so Jake is taking me home." She watched as Des nodded before stumbling back inside.

"He is a useless liar." Jake turned back to Leslie who was blushing slightly less.

"He's that drunk he'll have already forgotten." Leslie leaned towards Jake slightly. "And anyway."

"Anyway? What?"

"It isn't such a lie."

Jake watched as the detective tugged his jacket to her tightly. It was only then he realised how thin she had become, how quiet she had been recently. He swallowed hard and followed her out of the car park, knowing she would tell him what was bothering her in her own time.

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A/N More soon? This will be a Christmas Fic I promise. Please review.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer not mine. If anyone knows where the programme is shown in the UK please let me know. Alibi seem to have lost it somewhere. Thanks to the reviewer of my last chapter, hope you like this too. Oh and if anyone else would like to review I'd be very happy.**

**Drive.**

The cab driver had the sense not to talk to the young couple in the back of his cab. He could see both were upset although the way the man held the young woman's hand he could see neither was upset with the other. Sighing to himself he turned the radio up and concentrated on the road in front of him.

"What do you think Des will have told the others?" Leslie asked as Jake shrugged his shoulders.

"Doesn't really matter."

"Jake."

"He'll probably tell them what I asked him to. He wasn't that drunk."

"No." Leslie agreed as she rested her head against his shoulder. "No he wasn't. Jake, you didn't have to come home with me."

"I wanted to." He turned and held her gaze for a moment. "And I think we have some talking to do."

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"Des!" Malachy walked across to the younger man as the music blared out. "Where have you been? Tilly was getting worried."

"Pops!" Tilly turned a shade of red her grandfather hadn't seen on her before. He smiled slightly, glad that he could embarrass his granddaughter.

"I was outside. Jake has gone home."

"What?" Tilly asked. "Why?"

"Leslie wasn't feeling well. He wanted to be sure she was ok." He shrugged his shoulders. Malachy smiled slightly, aware that his son felt more for the police woman than many of the others realised.

"Right then." He wrapped one arm around Tilly as Rose walked towards them. "Just because they have gone home doesn't mean we can't have some fun. Come on." He smiled as Tilly slipped out of his grip. The music changed as Rose reached them.

"I think they are playing our song." She reached out a hand as he nodded and lead her to the dance floor.

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"Jake." Leslie sighed as she dug in her pocket for her door key. "You don't have to do this."

"You said to tell the family you're ill. That's why I am here. I know you, you wouldn't have said that if it had been a lie. What's going on?"

"I should send you away. Tell you it isn't any of your business." She unlocked the door and let him in. Switching on lights she made her way to the kitchen, determined to make tea before she had to face him. Jake watched her move around and tried not to think the worst. He knew Leslie was strong, probably the strongest woman he had ever known. He knew he felt more for her than any woman he had ever known, including his now ex-wife. Watching her obviously trying to avoid the subject almost broke his heart.

"That looks good on you." He leant in the doorway of the kitchen as she turned to face him.

"Excuse me?"

"My jacket. It suits you."

"Oh." She smiled slightly. "Sorry, I."

"What is it? What aren't you telling me?" He stepped towards her as her eyes fell closed.

"Jake."

"Please Leslie."

"I."

"What?"

"Shut up and I'll tell you." She smiled as he looked suitable abashed.

"I found. I mean. There was a lump." She swallowed hard. She blushed a furious shade of red as she pointed to her chest. "Here. I had a biopsy a few days ago but." Jake felt his world collapse around him as he stepped towards her. He heard her say something about results not being back for another few days but it didn't matter. There was a chance she was really unwell. Leslie fell into his arms and let him hold her, wondering just what the future may hold.

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A/N More soon. x


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer not mine. Please let me know if anyone is reading this.**

**Facing Facts.**

"Mal." Rose smiled as the older Doyle dragged a Christmas tree into the house with Tilly helping him to drag the 6ft tree into the living room. "Are you sure you are going to be able to deal with a tree that big?"

"Des is going to help Tilly decorate it." Mal explained. "Have you seen Jake this morning?"

"No." Rose answered as she drank her coffee. "He got home late last night. Or at least I think he did."

"You think?" Malachy asked. "You heard him?"

"No." Rose shook her head slightly. "I just assumed."

"My boy is up to something." Malachy shook his head as Tilly turned away. He had a feeling his granddaughter knew more than she was telling him and made a mental note to talk to his son the moment he saw him.

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"Leslie." Jake sighed as he opened his eyes. His back ached and he knew he had spent the night on a sofa. He looked across at the blonde woman asleep in his arms and still couldn't believe that she had been keeping everything a secret for as long as she had. She stirred slightly and he couldn't help but watch as her eyes fluttered open.

"Morning."

"Morning yourself." She smiled before gently extracting herself from his arms. Jake immediately felt lost without her in his arms.

"I've been thinking." Jake started as Leslie raised an eyebrow.

"Now I know I have something to worry about." She smiled cheekily as he pretended to look offended. "Sorry, go on."

"Christmas."

"What?"

"Mid Wiinter festival. Christian holiday I believe. Guy in big red suit involved in it all."

"I know what Christmas is." She rolled her eyes. "I mean what about Christmas?"

"Would you spend it with me?" Jake could feel his heart beating twice as fast as normal.

"Wont you be spending it with Rose and Mal?" Leslie held his gaze.

"Yeah." jake agreed. "But I'd like you there. If you don't already have plans, that is."

"I don't have anything planned. My parents are away until January."

"Your Mum knows though?" Jake knew he was asking too many questions. "I mean about."

"No." Leslie looked away for a moment."You're the only one. And I'd like it to stay that way, unless I can't hide it anymore. I mean if it. If I have." Jake silenced her with his lips on hers.

"I wont tell a soul." He promised once he had pulled back. "I'd still like you to spend Christmas with me. If you want to."

"Ok." Leslie smiled as she laid her head back on Jake's chest. "I'd like that." Jake smiled and closed his eyes. He was about to fall back to sleep when the beeping of his phone disturbed the pair of them. It seemed nothing would stop real life getting in the way.

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A/N More soon.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer not mine. Please review**

**Wide Awake.**

"Hey." Leslie smiled as she walked back into the living room. She knew Jake had to be exhausted. They had talked for hours and barely slept. She also knew he would have to go home soon. Malachy and Rose would be asking questions as it was.

"I've three missed calls from Des and Tilly."

"Oh."

"I'm going to have to go. What are you going to do?" Jake watched as she sipped her coffee.

"Get dressed and go to work."

"Oh, yeah." Jake had almost forgotten that life had to go on. They both had jobs to go to. "Have?"

"Yes, I'll come to your house on Christmas Day." She smiled. "But Jake."

"I wont tell anyone. When are you at the hospital next?"

"Tuesday." Leslie sighed. "I get my results on Tuesday. Then we'll know."

"Yeah." Jake looked away for a moment. He knew she had only told him about the biopsy because he had pushed her into it. There was no way anyone else would have any information out of her. "I'll come with you."

"You don't have to."

"I want to." Jake sighed. "Unless, you."

"No, no I'd like you to be there." She smiled slightly, wondering whether Jake would ever look at her the same way again.

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"Hey." Des walked into the living room as Tilly stood back to admire her handiwork. The 6ft tree was alight with baubles and fairylights that she had loved since she was a little girl. Rose smiled proudly as she watched the two youngsters. Part of her couldn't help but feel sorry for the young private detective.

"Great tree."

"Thanks."

"Des." Rose walked towards him. "I wanted to ask you."

"No, I haven't seen Jake." Des looked slightly panicked as Rose raised her eyebrows.

"Do you want to stay here for Christmas?" Rose watched as Tilly looked on expectantly. They all knew he had no family left in the area now that his father had left.

"I." He paused. "Yes, please."

"What?" Malachy asked as both women smiled. "What have I missed?"

"I'm coming for Christmas." Des announced just as Jake walked in the room.

"And so is Leslie." Jake announced. "Now don't we have work to do?"

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Leslie brushed her hair and stared in the mirror. She had always been healthy. Loved sport as a teenager and still went running whenever she could. It just didn't seem fair that her body betrayed her the way it had. She had never smoked, barely drank and always passed her police fitness tests. Sighing heavily she looked around her apartment for her jacket only to find Jake's beloved leather jacket still draped over the chair.

"Oh Jake." She sighed as she ran her fingers over the well worn leather. "I hope this Christmas is one to remember for the right reasons." She glanced at the small card on the table, knowing Jake would have seen when her hospital appointment was. She had no intention of him being there but she couldn't help but hope he would be.

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A/N More soon. Please review.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer not mine**

**Is anyone reading this? Please let me know if you are. No reviews for the last chapter made me wonder if anyone was reading this. Not much more left now.**

**Tuesday.**

The hospital was as cold and clinical as Leslie remembered it. She folded her arms and stared at the cold tiled floor of the Outpatient's Department knowing that she was merely moments away from finding out what her fate was. The fear churning in the pit of her stomach was not helped by the fact she hadn't seen or heard anything from Jake in over twenty four hours. Part of her knew he would find her possible condition difficult to deal with but another part of her was overwhelmed with disappointment that he hadn't turned up.

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"Des." Jake pulled his jacket on as he jogged towards his friend. "I have to go."

"But."

"But nothing." Jake came to a halt next to a highly decorated Christmas tree as Des frowned at him. "If my Da asks you where I am I want you to tell him that I wont be long and that I am following a lead on Delaney. Can you do that?"

"There's a lead on the Delaney case?" Des was suddenly full of optimism.

"No. I just want you to tell my father that."

"But that's lying."

"Yes it is." Jake agreed. "Can you do it?"

"Where are you really going?"

"I have to see someone."

"A woman?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

"None of your business and it is not what you think."

"Jake."

"Now, will you help me or not?"

"Are you doing something illegal?" Des looked genuinely worried.

"No. I promise you it is nothing illegal or immoral. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important."

"Go. I'll deal with Malachy."

"Thanks." Jake clapped the younger man on the shoulder before running towards his car. He knew he was going to be late and just hoped that Leslie would forgive him.

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Leslie looked around the hospital waiting room. The place was packed with people in a similar position to her. All seemed to have someone with her but she was alone. Shaking her head she berated herself for ever thinking it could be different. She knew Jake Doyle well enough to know he was not the most reliable man she had ever met. She watched a young woman in a headscarf hug the man that was with her and smiled. It seemed the girl had got some good news and for that she was grateful. Someone there should have something good happen she thought as she watched the door to the doctor's office open.

"Leslie Bennett?" Leslie took a deep breath as she heard her name called. The smartly dressed young woman smiled kindly with her. "Hi. Is there anyone you'd want to come in with you? Husband? Boyfriend?"

"Er, no." Leslie sighed. "Not today."

"Yes there is." She turned to see Jake hurtling towards her. "I'm sorry. I just couldn't get away."

"Jake." Leslie rolled her eyes.

"I said I would be here." He held her gaze. Suddenly it was as if noone else was in the room.

"Ms Bennett?" The Doctor smiled. "Would you like to follow me?" Leslie nodded before Jake took her hand and walked into the office with her.

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A/N More soon.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer not mine**

**The Verdict?**

"The Delaney case?" Malachy looked at Des as the younger man nodded eagerly. "You sure?"

"That's what Jake said. He was following a lead with the Delaney case."

"Ok." Malachy turned his attention back to the Christmas tree. "If that's what he said."

"He did."

"Ok." Malachy sighed as Tilly and Rose walked in laughing with arms full of bags between them. "Where have you been?"

"Christmas shopping." Tilly stated as if it wa the most obvious thing in the world. "Rose and I went to get your present."

"Oh, can I see?" Malachy was suddenly more interested in the contents of the bags and not the whereabouts of his youngest child.

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Jake let out a breath he didn't know he had held as he walked away from the Doctor's consulting room. Leslie was equally quiet as she walked next to him. The rain splattered the hospital car park as they left the building.

"You ok?" Leslie smiled as he turned to face her.

"Me? Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"No." Leslie smiled. "I'm fine. And the tests confirm it."

"Benign." Jake hugged her tightly, his eyes closed as he breathed in her perfume and shampoo. "Best word I have ever heard. Benign."

"It was just a cyst."

"Yeah." Jake sniffed as Leslie pulled away.

"Jake?" He looked away, his eyes filled with unshed tears. "Hey."

"I'm ok."

"Don't cry."

"I'm not crying. Who's crying? Not me."

"No." Leslie touched his face as the rain began to soak them to the skin. "Of course not." He held her gaze as she closed the gap between them, kissing him gently on the lips. Jake tightened his hold on her, as if afraid something would rip her away from him at any moment. Leslie pulled back when the need for oxygen began to overwhelm her.

"Jake."

"Yeah?" He brushed some of her soaking wet hair away from her face.

"Take me home."

"Home?"

"It's Christmas Eve. Take me home, I need to get some things ready before I come to your house tomorrow."

"Right." He took her hand in his and lead her towards the car. "Your place?"

"Unless you have somewhere else you need to be."

"No." Jake stared at their joined hands. "There's nowhere I want to be, apart from here."

"Smooth talker." Leslie teased as he opened the car door. Jake raised an eyebrow and smiled.

"Leslie?"

"Yeah."

"Are we going to be ok? You and me? I mean." He looked away, unsure of himself once more. She sighed heavily, hating how they had always just missed each other.

"You and me?" Leslie repeated as she watched him over the roof of the car. "Are going to be just fine. C'mon."

He nodded, unable to stop the smile spreading across his face. Maybe this Christmas wasn't going to be so loney after all.

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A/N And that's all folks x Please review.


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